The first step of our Build Better Relationships Workshop is always Acceptance & Responsibility, in fact it’s the first step for everybody in every situation that they have an issue with, let us explain.
Over the last decade this is something we’ve examined very closely and without exception is everyone’s barrier to living a happier life.
Think about something you have going on now or the reason you think you’re unhappy?
There’s something that you’re unable to accept which is preventing you from moving forward because you haven’t taken responsibility for moving forward yet.
You’re probably still blaming and complaining, if you are then you’re still at step 1 and will remain there until you take a different approach or simply ‘think differently’ about the situation.
How you do do that?
You use the mantra or phrase, “when you think it’s about you, it’s not, it’s about them and when you think it’s about them, it’s not, it’s about you”.
It’s really simple but not easy to think this way but with practice can be done and will give you lots of time and energy for the people and things that matter to you.
An example of this is when we make the decision to get offended, that’s right, we said it, make the decision to get offended by what someone else says or does. We’ve made what they’ve said or done about us when in reality it says more about them than us, it’s just that we’ve decided to make it about us.
On the flip side when we do or say something, we justify it and blame the other person or thing as the reason as to why we said or did what we did. The truth is nobody has the power to make us do or say anything that we don’t want to.
In both cases, acceptance and responsibility is missing which means we get to play the victim in both scenarios which is much easier to do and that’s why so many of us don’t take that first step.
1. So, stop making what other people do about you and stop making what you do about them.
2. To do that, as soon as you think it’s them, stop and ask yourself, “how is this a problem for me”?
Keep asking until you get to the real reason.
As soon as you think it’s about you, stop and ask yourself, “how must they be feeling to say/ act that way”?
3. Doing this will save and therefore give you more time and energy to the people and things that really matter to you.
So, when you think it’s about you, it’s not, it’s about them and when you think it’s about them, it’s not, it’s about you.