1. Write down the good - It can be easier to find ourselves caught in a loop of seeing the worst in our partner and always focussing on what they don’t do. Try establishing a daily practice in which you remind yourself of good things you enjoy about your partner. By keeping a record, it gives you something to look back on that you may find in moments hard to remember. Kick start the practice of being grateful for each other each day by doing this.
2. Take Heart from the Hard Times - To be grateful in your current state, it is helpful to remember any hard times that you once experienced. When you remember how difficult some situations have been and how far you have come, you set up an explicit contrast in your mind, and this contrast makes way for gratefulness.
3. Simply say “Thank you” - this is the easiest and most overlooked way to express gratitude for one another. Thank you for the things each of you does. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for respecting. Thank you for supporting. Thank you for all you do.
4. Share your Gratitude with Others - Do you talk kindly of your partner when they are not there? Research has found that expressing gratitude about your partner with others can strengthen your relationship.
5. Come to Your Senses - Through our senses - the ability to touch, see, smell, taste, and hear—we gain an appreciation of what it means to be human and of what an incredible miracle it is to be alive. Seen through the lens of gratitude, the human body is not only a miraculous construction, but also a gift.
6. Use Visual Reminders - The two primary obstacles to gratefulness are forgetfulness and a lack of mindful awareness. Visual reminders can serve as cues to trigger thoughts of gratitude. Noticing and being aware of our partner and what they do for us reminds us to be grateful.
7. Make a Vow to Practice Gratitude - Research shows that setting an intention to perform a behaviour increases the likelihood that the action will be executed. Therefore, write your own gratitude intention, which could be as simple as “I intend to focus on the good in my life each day,” and post it somewhere where you will be reminded of it every day.
8. Watch Your Language - Couples who are grateful of each other have a particular way of speaking that uses positive language when talking about experiences together or to describe each other.
9. Go Through the Motions - Couples who practice gratitude go through grateful motions include smiling, saying thank you, and writing letters of gratitude. By “going through grateful motions,” you’ll trigger the emotion of gratitude for each other more often.
10. Think Outside the Box - If you want to make the most out of opportunities to flex your gratitude muscles, you must look differently at situations and circumstances to find the reasons to be grateful. When your mind goes to negative mode, stop and have a switch to find the positive.